Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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