Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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