Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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