physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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