i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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