ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
