You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
