I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
