he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
