What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
