Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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