I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
