I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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