Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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