the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
