Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
