shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
