pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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