the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
