i don't like sucking hair
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
