i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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