somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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