What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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