She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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