i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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