Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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