Say something about gay babies.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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