So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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