the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
