fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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