i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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