Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
