Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
