Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
