# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
