I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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