toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
