I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
