please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
