Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
