i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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