Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
