The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
