the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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