New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize