Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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