The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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