Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
