yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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