She's JV to your varsity
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
